Contact Us

10 Best ‘Family Guy’ Quotes

Family Guy Quotes

Characters as offensive as those on ‘Family Guy‘ are bound to make for some memorable dialogue. Peter’s idiocy alone could fill volumes. We’ve parsed it down to these ten funny quotes from the show, because we had to set the limit somewhere. Enjoy!


“I had such a crush on her. Until I met you Lois. You’re my silver medal.”

— Peter

“All right, all right, make like Siamese twins and split…And then one of you die.”

— Peter

“I want pancakes! God, do you people understand every language except English? Yo quiero pancakes! Donnez moi pancakes! Click click bloody click pancakes!”

— Stewie

“And Joe, I’ve had new neighbors before, but none of them were half the man you are. Since you’re half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I can’t even measure.”

— Peter

“Guns don’t kill people; dangerous minorities do.”

— Gun rights advocate

“Sorry Meg. Daddy loves ya, but Daddy also loves Star Trek, and in all fairness, Star Trek was here first.”

— Peter

“Lesbians and deaf women wear the same clothes.”

— Brian

“You just think you know everything don’t you? You’re just like a black woman in hindsight.”

— Brian

PETER: “If I’m gay then Freddy Mercury was gay.” BRIAN: “Freddy Mercury? The lead singer of Queen? He was incredibly gay.” PETER: “He was not, he had a mustache.”


PETER: “Oh my god, Brian, there’s a message in my Alphabits. It says, “Oooooo.”” BRIAN: “Peter, those are Cheerios.”


Next: See These Amazing ‘Family Guy’ Look-alikes

Recommended for You

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to using your original account information.

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for The Workforce quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!

Sign up to have exclusive Workforce contests, events, coupons, presales, and much more delivered to you for FREE.