“Yes Dear” – Don’t Agree With Your Woman To Try & End The Argument
It’s a common practice among guys; if you are in a fight with your girl, just agree (saying “Yes Dear”, “You’re Right”, etc) to try and stop the fight. Thanks to science, we now know that doesn’t always work.
University of Arizona researchers viewed the communication style of 44 different heterosexual couples. They focused on the difference between the sexes.
They found the terms “Yes Dear” and “Uh Huh” only infuriated girlfriends/wives and made the situation worse. Which is not good considering a 2011 study found that 68% of guys preferred to say “Yes Dear” to try and end the fight.
Lead researcher for the study, Neil Warner, says this is a passive aggressive move that can be seen as confusing
The partner of a passive aggressive person can spend the best 20-30 years of their life trying to decode this maddening double message. Meanwhile, in trying to decode it, the innocent partner can be accused of being crazy, aggressive and overly demanding.
These comments don’t help the situation as the female counterparts to the men in the study were unsatisfied with that answer and will continue to press until a “mutually satisfying resolution” is reached. The study claims that women tend to cooperate more, while men often try to avoid the conflict altogether.
Ashley Randell added:
If you think about a couple that is trying to cooperate with one another, the man might go along and say, “oh sure, honey, this is great, are we almost done? Whereas the women might say, “I’m so glad that you’re happy, but I just want to talk about this one other thing because I think we’re really getting at a resolution.
Cooperation is something that’s invaluable and instrumental in a successful relationship but men and women experience it differently.
This research provides another avenue to understanding how partners’ emotions can become linked, but future research is needed on how these emotional patterns may ultimately contribute to the longevity, or demise, of the romantic relationship.