A little girl wrote me a letter...

DEAR DAN AMERICA; I am 8 years old.  Some of my little friends say that Christmas starts too early in America. Papa says 'If DAN AMERICA says so then it's so.' Please tell me the truth; Does Christmas start too early in America?

VIRGINIA O'FICTION

@ whydoesthiskidhaveanemail@gmail.com

VIRGINIA, your little friends are boogers. They have been affected by Millennials. They want to complain because they're offended. They have little minds and all they want to do is use buzz words and follow trends. Do you know what a hypocrite is Virginia? Your little booger Millennial friends on Christmas Morning.

Yes VIRGINIA, we do start Christmas early in America but not too early. Let me Dan Americasplain to you why...