Before I was not sold on bath salt because I didn’t want to eat people. Now that I know it transforms me into Wesley Snipes from Blade, I am totally in!

I think the US Navy issued this video to try and prevent people from doing bath salts, but I fear it might do the complete opposite. If taking bath salts means I can steal some French fries, punch my girlfriend in the face and go bowling in the same day then I want a part of it.

Don’t get me wrong, I mean I only punched my girlfriend in the face because obviously she was a blood thirsty vampire zombie hybrid. Bath salts not only allowed me to see her true identity but they also gave me the strength to stop her from trying to enslave all of humanity. Thanks US Navy for showing me the truth behind bath salts!