There are the characters that you cant get enough of, and then there are the fillers. The ones that are put into a script to make it 90 pages. Here is my list of characters that shouldnt have made it past the rough draft.
Mitch – Dan in Real Life
It’s hard to find a movie in which Dane Cook matters . It’s clear that his string of movie roles was simply a failed attempt to capitalize on his fifteen minutes of mega fame, but this role as Steve Carell’s brother might be the most pointless. In a movie where nobody was interesting, Mitch stood out even less than the rest. I didn’t care about him at all. His character was completely irrelevant. Good Luck Chuck was also terrible.
Dick Hallorann – The Shining
One of the greatest horror movies of all time, based on the novel by the master of horror, Stephen King but. . .Dick Hallorann (Scatman Crothers) served absolutely no purpose! He could communicate with Danny through telepathy; he sensed that the family was in trouble, he took 47 hours getting back to the house, only to immediately catch an ax to the back. Thanks, Scatman. . .
Cheddar Bob – 8 Mile
I was watching this movie and Cheddar Bob was the character that inspired me to make this list. I can’t for the life of me figure out what the purpose of this character was. He wasn’t funny. He had no clever lines. I’m at a loss for words. Is his name supposed to be funny? Is that it? I don’t understand. . .whatever, eff the free world.
Jar Jar Binks – The Phantom Menace
Anything I could say about this mistake has already been said. Let’s move on.
Adam Sandler’s Characters – Anything in the Last Three Years.
I don’t think Adam Sandler has read a script since Funny People. Grown-Ups? Jack and Jill? That’s My Boy? This guy really disappoints me. He should try “acting” again. If you want to see a talented performance from Sandler, watch Reign Over Me. There is talent there, he just chooses to waive it so he can keep making movies with all his buddies. Because that’s not getting old. Oh, Rob Schneider plays a wacky character? Again? I get it. You should be ashamed of yourself, Sandler. I used to actually pay to see your movies.
Kristen Stewart’s Characters – Anything. Ever.
Seriously, if the girl did so much as raise her eyebrows, or smile, or blink while playing a part, I’d say it’s a step in the right direction. Her monotonous delivery, and her annoying, twitchy, uneasy. . .everything. She gets under my skin. I made it through one and a half Twilight movies, I fell asleep during Snow White and the Huntsman, and she was just as lifeless in Adventureland. I’d have to say her best performance was in Zathura. Of course, she was frozen for half of the movie, but you can hardly notice. Just awful.
Ok, maybe that last one was just a knock on Stewart, and not necessarily her characters. But hey, she sucks. You know it. Maybe they should try to have her fall in love with a zombie. . .I smell another horrible saga!
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