This is the same exact reason we took your car keys away Grandpa, you just can’t be trusted with things of any value! Recently I saw a story from the Times Union regarding a money transfer scam that targeted elderly folks in Saratoga County. The scam consisted of an unknown caller contacting old people and posing as their grandchild. The “grandchild” would then make up some sob story about how they were stuck in the Cayman Islands and needed money for bail. So far the scammers have claimed nearly $15,700 from unsuspecting hollow headed seniors.

This is just one of the million reasons I do not want to make it past the age of 64. I feel like it has got to be all downhill from then. I watched both of my Grandparents slip slowly into insanity with Alzheimer's and I failed to see how that could have been enjoyable for them. Sure the bonus of forgetting how to tie your shows or turn of the stove is you get to meet new people over and over and each day is a new and exciting adventure. However, getting old just plan sucks. Your bones start to weaken, your joints don’t move, you need a steady diet of beano and above all you get taken advantage of by young no good whippier snappers for over $15,000!

Clearly I am doomed to catch this horrific dieses as I grow older as it is in my blood. And if the hereditary genes don’t kick in then certainly getting kicked in the head as much as I do in the professional wrestling ring will take its toll. Either way I get from point A to point crazy I have a system to beat it. I plant on cashing out around age 64. This will be the age I stop caring about my body and health. I drink occasionally but not excessively. I also workout and eat healthy keeping me self healthier then your average Peacock. But when I hit 64 it is game on, bring on the hard liquor at 9am hand me that pot brownie, let’s go bungee jumping from a leer jet and why not throw in a hot shot or two for lunch. If I’m going out I’m going out with a bang.

“How did Grandpa Dalton pass away? Oh he was out ridding great white sharks bare back when a couple of Orcas who were up to no good started making trouble in his neighborhood (Ocean).” Now that’s a story worth telling the next generation about, not some lame “sorry Timmy you can’t go to college because Grandpa gave away your inheritance to some Jack-Hole in the Cayman Islands”.