Last week we told you how to make sure your relationship doesn't fall apart during the playoffs, now learn how to really enjoy the playoffs thanks to our resident sexpert Rayne.  Warning, it might not be safe at work reading.

“Oh, you so do not watch football naked.” a friend exclaimed after reading my post about keeping your relationship from imploding during the Playoffs.

“But I do!”

“Does he?”

“Sometimes, but usually he keeps his boxers on.” He's weird about the texture of the couch.

Who am I kidding? He's just plain weird. But no weirder than I am, I guess, so it works out.

But don't worry! You don't have to sit naked with your SO to get up to sexy fun during the game. I know some of y'all aren't ready for that. Maybe you never will be. That's okay. It takes all sorts.

So first things first. What exactly are you trying to achieve? Are you hoping for blast off at halftime, or just some titillating torment leading up to something explicit after the final play? The two may take you down very different roads due to the speed with which you'll pursue them. Either way, one thing's for sure. In some cases, just springing something like this on your football fan might agitate them more than arouse them. Some of us are fickle that way. So ask 'em if it's something they'd be interested in, but keep some details for yourself.

Do whatever you two need to do that day together and before the game. Things will go much faster and nobody will feel like they did a whole buncha work so somebody else can enjoy it. From running errands, to making snacks, to that barely-there (and NSFW) outfit. Unless you two are looking for something just a little more classy.

Push back the coffee table and throw some pillows and blankets on the floor. Pick up some scented candles in low, romantic tones. Preferably candles made for massage. Don't skimp! You'll just end up with a headache.

Touch is important. Nine years in, and electric fire still dashes up my spine every time M's hand snakes under the back of my shirt and his fingers dance a teasing jig from hip to hip. And it costs you nothing but a shift from keeping your hand wrapped around that beer to resting on your SO's thigh. A well-placed kiss between plays instead of making fun of the sportscasters who for sure took one too many hits to the head.

Or is it just M and me who do that? Anyway...

Like I mentioned last week, sexing during the game is easy. Even if you're both fans! You've heard of “reverse cowgirl,” right? The number 69 makes for perfect head placement for both of you, as well. Just be careful disentangling from each other on good plays! A flag on this field could be detrimental to your sex life. Knees and elbows are dangerous.

There are other ways to turn up the heat. Maybe grab a sex toy. Something small, that vibrates and can be trailed gently along the insides of wrists and elbows and knees. Across stomachs and thighs and throats. … If I need to go into anymore detail, you're in more trouble than I thought!

Make it fun for both of you. Don't rush, take it slow. Savor each other. With tongues and teeth and lips.  I know we will.

Only not during the Saints game.   I'll be glued to the TV during the Saints game.