Kate Upton’s Breasts Need to Be Stopped Before They Take Over the World
It’s not often we can say we’ve had enough of a hot chick, but, seriously, can Kate Upton stop popping up everywhere like Starbucks on a street corner?
The latest episode of the supermodel’s growing overexposure comes courtesy of TMZ, which posted a video of Upton posing topless on a horse (as women are wont to do, right?). She tried to cup her cups in her hands while taking off her top, but being on a horse, that’s more daunting a task than the thought of replacing the Men’s Wearhouse dude.
Ultimately, it ain’t that interesting and we don’t derive that much Almond Joy from the brief glimpse at her Mounds. The 14-year-old in us who tried to catch the nudity between the blurry lines during a Shannon Tweed marathon on Cinemax even thinks it’s lame. Heck, the horse looks like it’d rather be given a one-way ticket to the glue factory than be party to this “topless” controversy.
How much Upton do we need? We get it – she’s young and she’s hot, but we don’t need to see her everywhere and know every detail of her life, like the overly-proud and overly-bored stay-at-home mom who constantly posts pictures of her kindergartner’s absolutely awful finger paintings on Facebook. We thought Jennifer Lawrence would deflect some attention from K-Up, but, apparently, nothing can stop the media from covering both of them. Darn Internet!
Now, if you’ll excuse us we’re going to try and do something more beneficial with our time. Ooh, maybe we can read some hard-hitting op-ed piece about Kim Kardashian’s baby.