I don’t care how many guns you have shot, if watching this doesn’t transform your heart into mush then you are NOT human!

I feel like my ambitions and goals in life are changing all the time. First I wanted to be a NCAA national champion, then I wanted to travel the world as a professional wrestler, but now none of that even matters. After learning this Slow Loris exists it’s all I can even think about. My #1 goal in life is to have at least a dozen of these Slow Lorises in my home where I would feed ‘em an endless supply of rice balls for the rest of my life. This thing is 100 times more cute then 20 baby pandas sneezing into the mouths of 10 yawning kittens that just got done playing in a bag full of marshmallows. So my threat stands, if I don’t have a Slow Loris in my Elmyra Duff like grip by the end of the day I will burn the Q103 studio to the ground!