Greenfield Man Exposes Himself In Wilton Lowe’s

Pant-less shopping still only allowed online.

The world is an ever changing place. There are so many activities you can now do without your pants:

• Play games
• Watch a movie
• Listen to music
• Talk with people all around the world
• Learn to cook
• Watch videos of other people without pants

Yes, all of this can be done sans pantalones, as long as you do it online in the comfort of your own home. Heck, you could be reading this without your pants on and it wouldn't hurt my feelings. Just don't ever tell me about it.

There is still one place where pants are mostly required, the real world.

The Times Union reports a 56-year-old Greenfield man who exposed himself multiple times to female workers at the Lowe's in Wilton has been arrested.

First off, you can shop at Lowes.com with your pants off at home, and no one will ever care (probably). Second, this is not the ideal place to be exposing yourself sir. I'm pretty sure they have entire aisles of sharp objects designed to be easily wielded.