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Airline Fees I’d Be Willing To Pay [NSFW Video]

Yesterday came the story of one blogger’s epic complaint letter to an airline for being forced to sit next to an obese person. As I was browsing the web, I found this video that almost suites the situation perfectly.

“Airline Fees I’d Be Willing To Pay”

Let’s face facts, some of the “fees” we pay to the airlines are a total lies and there is no reason for them. A fee to check my bag? So you mean to tell me I’m simply paying for the honor to sit in a crammed space with a bunch of other miserable travels? Awesome.

Here now is one man’s suggestions for new fees, that actually make sense.

(WARNING: Contains Foul Language & Might Be NSFW)

Some of these I would actually pay for. Ok, I know the baby in the overhead compartment might be a bit excessive but when it’s 5 AM and I am trying to fall back to sleep after being up since 2 AM to go through screening, wait my “turn” for my zone to be called, board the plane, attempt to get comfortable in the most uncomfortable chair; the last thing I want is a crying child for the next 2 hours. (And yes, it’s happen to me before).

What are some other ones would I pay for?

Recliner Rejection Button - The space between my face and the seat in front of me is small enough as it is. So “thank you” to the person who created the seat recline button, because of you I can now tell if the person in front of me has lice.

I’d pay the extra fee to force the person in the seat in front of me to the upright and locked position at will.

Exchange Seats After Meeting The Person In The Seat Next To You Fee – The almighty wait as you sit in your seat with wondering eyes as each person enters the cabin and you hope who is and isn’t sitting next to you.

The airlines should have an extra row or two of seats where you can pay a fee to move to that row to get away from your new found travel companion if you find them to be not appealing. Examples include: foul body odor, excessive talking to you about nothing, refusal to not come in to your space.

First Off The Plane Fee – Oh the fun of the “Seat Belt” sign turning off and the mad rush to stand up and wait to get off the plane. Everyone is jocking for position to get out quick, which only clogs the whole system up. I’d pay a few extra bucks to get a special bracelet that indicates I can be the first up and out while everyone else sits and waits their turn.

What if everyone bought one? Not an option. There would only be a few, like 10, bracelets that can be purchased per flight and you would have to buy them when checking at the airport. So it would be first com, first serve.

Excessive Baggage Fee - You’ve seen these people who refuse to pay the checked bag fee so they jam everything they need for a week’s vacation into one overnight bag. I’d pay the extra fee to kick them off the plane.

I had one flight where a woman refused to have her bag checked after boarding the plane – which mind you is FREE. You just have to pick the bag up when getting off the plane, so simple but not for this woman. The argument went for several minutes with the woman claiming the airline wasn’t being fair to her. I replied with “You aren’t being fair to the rest of the passengers who would like to leave on time.” Needless to say, I got a dirty look.

 

What are some you would pay for?

 

 

Epic Complaint Sent To Airline From Guy Forced To Sit Next To Obese Flyer

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