Tonight I'm heading to the movies with my wife to see "50 Shades of Grey."

What should I expect? I haven't read the books, I haven't been caught up in all the hype, I can't even tell you the characters' names, other than the dude's name is Grey.

So is this just a dirty chick-flick? I've heard that some people are upset because the girl isn't "strong" enough, some in the BDSM community say it's not an accurate portrayal of their lifestyle, and still others claim it's little more than high-class porn. A friend of my wife told her that she went to see it and a lady sitting next to her was literally moaning in her seat! I don't think I'm up for THAT!

Will it be like going to "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" or a "Star Wars" movie where people dress up as their favorite character? That might get weird. Will there be embarrassed adult kids going with their moms? Does everyone leave the movie and head out for a smoke or a nap? We've all seen groups of crazy women going nuts for prizes on "Oprah" or "Ellen," should I expect that in the lobby?

I don't know of a single man that has read any of these books. Will I be the only guy there or just one of many being led along by their wife/girlfriend hoping for a little something- something afterwards? We, as men, are not talking about this. How many of you have seen this movie and will you admit it in a group of men? If so many women are seeing this, it only makes sense that men are seeing it also. Why is there no hype among men? I'll tell you why. We don't give a damn about an erotic love story, even if there are boobies to be seen! Isn't there a good action or sci-fi movie out there we can sneak into after saying we're going to get some popcorn?

So here I go, into a world where a bunch of wound-up women are all excited about a book that has changed the way some of them approach their "private" time and men don't tell. Guys, I'm going to break the man code and let you know about what goes on. Hopefully you will be prepared when either you get asked to go or, in a few months, she comes home with the Blue-Ray/DVD. I will post my review of not only the movie, but also of the scene, because it seems that all our lady friends are being pulled in by this spank-happy pied piper and we as men need to know what to do if she shows up with handcuffs and riding crop!

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