Woman Hides Her Own Poop in Her Purse on First Date

We've all been on some bad dates. Maybe the other person talks too much, or is just flat out rude. But have you ever been on a date where the person you were with was hiding their poop in their purse? If she is as good at hiding as this woman, then you would have no idea...

Ok, if someone begins story this way, you probably already started laughing before you even know what happened. This Twitter user @_blotty showed courage by doing something that not many people would ever do: Share their embarrassing poop story on the internet. The best thing is, she did it with a series of tweets, and I promise, you will be on the edge of your seat throughout the whole story until you have eventually fallen off for laughing too hard.

So, the date was going great, according to her, until they got back to the guys place when she realized dinner was leaving her sooner rather than later. She recalls being in the bathroom for a very long time as the guys toilet doesn't flush and she tries to fix it. As expected, she doesn't fix the toilet and is left staring down at her turd floating in the water. Knowing she couldn't leave it there for him to find, she does the logical thing... She pulls it out of the toilet, wraps it up in toilet paper, and puts it in her purse...

Hopefully it 1.) wasn't an expensive designer bag, and 2.) she burned the bag after the date.

She then leaves the bathroom as if none of this ever happened, kudos on her part. As she is kissing this guy, all she thinks about is the fact that there is a human piece of poop sitting in her purse! Luckily for her, the guy goes to use the bathroom and actually gets the toilet to flush. She seizes this opportunity to dispose of the evidence (the poo) and carry on with the rest of her night.

You know what? I applaud this woman. I'll venture to say that at least 95% of girls in this situation would either end the date, whether or not they mention it's because they need to use the bathroom, or would simply tell the guy they her floater won't go down. Being a guy, the best part of this story is that the man she was with had no clue any of this happened. I know I would question why she was in my bathroom for such a long time, but I wouldn't bother to ask. Guess what, everybody poops, but if I found out that a girl I was going out with for the first time was hiding poop in her purse, I'd probably not call her back. That's not saying this guy never called her back, she doesn't say whether or not they go out again, but guy, if you do call her back, at least know that nothing more embarrassing could possibly happen on any date with her...ever...

I hope for the sake of the story that this is 100% accurate as she described it. Sure, I laughed at the girl, but give her credit. She told one of the most embarrassing stories I have ever heard... to the internet! Granted, this could've ended a lot worse, but I hope that she never tells the guy, that he never reads her story, and that they live on happily ever after. Heck, maybe he will even buy her a new purse at some point!

She ends the piece with some advice that every person dating should adhere too; "dont drink coffee before a date, its better to be sleepy than to have to hide poop in (your) purse." Wise words indeed.

You can see the string of tweets here. Thank you @_blotty for bringing your story to light and for giving me hope that one day pooping on first dates will just be accepted by everyone.