Who is topless on Good News Bad News?

Good News: The world is going to be safe from any possible Alien Invasion as long as I am on the job.

Bad News: If I do not get the job I will lead the Alien Invasion.

Good News: I know Aliens they come from the planet Bucket Nugget and they love watching old episodes of Roseanne.

Bad News: The Bucket Nuggets are plotting to place random puddles in your kitchen and bathroom to make your socks wet when you don't have another pair.

Good News: I am stocking up on dry socks.

Bad News: I am not going to deliver them and you are going to have to come to my apartment to get them and they're not free, I want Nachos and chocolate milk and like Ball Park Nachos, none of those fancy Nacho plates with shredded melted cheese that sticks together. I hate that and so do the Bucket Nuggets.