Watervliet Man’s Penis Attacked by Cat

Below is an anonymous email received by Q103. Can we help him out? 

Help! My Cat Attacked My Penis!

I'm not even embarrassed about it. I'm just in a lot of pain.

It's almost like catching your finger on a rose thorn but instead of the rose thorn it's four baby daggers and instead of your finger it's your penis.

I'm sitting at the kitchen table naked and why not? I live alone and the curtains were closed. It's my house and I'll strut in the nude if I want to. In hind sight, hanging around the house (no pun intended) may not be the best idea when you have cats.

As I'm sitting there minding my own business well, I think you know what happened next. Unfortunately, It wasn't a quick scratch. It was a long snag that seemed like a lifetime. With "my precious" still in control of the feline my alpha male instincts kicked in to over drive. My motor skills have probably never been faster.

With one quick motion I grabbed the paw and shouted one word. "No". I started to cry and limp to the bathroom.

It was as if my willy had been hit by a porcupine mouse trap!

I won't get too specific about my wounded wiener but I'm not sure what to do about it. I cannot be the only one who has experienced this. Is there a special ointment? Should I try a band aid? What should I do?

By the way, anyone want a kitten?