The Perfect Man

On The Free Beer & Hot Wings Morning Show they are going over a list of what makes the Perfect Man, from Esquire. So far we have learned that in order to be the Perfect Man you must; be short, have stubble, be less attractive then your significant other, smoke pot and do housework. I disagree.  

Realistically the Perfect man is Curt Hennig.

Or Al Bundy.

Al Bundy is the perfect man because; he works all day at a job he hates just so he can give his money to his family, so that they can go do whatever they want, so he can be left alone. To enjoy the simple joys of a mans life: Beer, Sports, Food and Biggins.

Is there really such a thing as the Perfect Man, other then Curt Hennig?

For the longest time I thought that Michael Jordan was the perfect man. People would dispute the fact with me, and argue that "He gambles."

Well he is probably good at that to.

If this scientific list from Esquire is right, then I am so wrong about Jordan being the perfect man.

I am 5'11, I have stubble, I do not know if I am more attractive then my wife, I have never asked. I do house work though, but it does not make sex any better or any worse. If I am the perfect man, then being the perfect man sucks.

I don't want to be the perfect man, I want to be the perfect American.

In conclusion; I don't know what makes the perfect man and I can't agree with science because it rules out too many possibilities. Instead I will look to the people to tell me what the perfect man is, and then disagree with them to. Because I am the Perfect American.