Happy Valentine’s Day Here are Some Tips and Stuff…
It's Valentine's Day, that special time of the year where you do something special with the ones that you love some biological some not and in 1929 people died.
That was me last year before Valentine's Day.
Then I went to Finkle's it was cold out that day.
Then I went all over the Capital Region, it was cold that day.
As you can see last Valentine's I gained a lot of Valentine's Day experience and now I am an expert on Valentine's Day and love, if you are wondering why we did not do this again this year: It's because I am too sexy and they did not want me taking attention away from the Rock Girl this year because I am just too sexy.
I am sexy and experienced so now I will provide you with some tips and stuff on how to enhance your Valentine's Day experience.
If you're married but you love someone else, here is a poem you can recite to the person you really want.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you can be my Baby Mama/ Baby Daddy, because I got married too soon....
If you're single and feeling lonely on Valentine's Day you can always go out to a bar and get really drunk, there will be other drunk lonely people there and you can get lucky but don't drive home.
You can have hearts for dinner!
This lady is my new hero.
If you are in a Long Distance Relationship, break up with that person so that you can both enjoy the day besides everyone knows that Long Distance Relationships aren't real!
A great last minute gift idea: Go to an office supple store and buy your significant other scotch tape or a folder, when they ask what it's for, tell them it's to keep all of the Valentine's they got from other people together.
If they complain, tell them: "At least I am not the jealous type."
If someone gives you candy or chocolates, eat them all right in front of the person, just stuff it all in your mouth and show them how much you appreciate it.
Have a happy Valentine's Day no matter what, like those guys did in 1929 but not the dead ones.