Dalton Is Ready To Speak At Your Graduation

Year after year I see undeserving guest speakers appearing on the stage at college commencements and I start to think “when is it going to be my turn”! I’m getting pretty sick on the lack of honoree doctrines on my shelf.

When videos of the dude from “Workaholics” speaking at a college graduation surface I start to wonder “could I do that”? Sure I can, I mean why the hell not right? I went to college, I talk on the radio, and I own a car and no longer live with my mother, that’s got to make me mildly successful right? Of course it does!

So I’m here to tell the world that I am now ready and available for bookings to speak at your commencement. I had Senator Chuck Schumer speak at my college graduation and I picked up on all the tricks. If you hire me to speak at your graduation you can be certain that I will do all of the following appropriate things.

#1. Name the popular day time hangout on campus.

#2. Reference a popular bar nearby bar and say something witty like “the nights we can’t remember…”

#3. Mention how food will never taste as good as the popular late night eatery nearby.

#4. Say inspiration stuff that will make you cheer like "these are the best years ever and they prepare you for the better ones ahead"!

#5. Say something like “This school (Insert institute name here) is the best school ever”!

#6. End with "San Dimas High School football rules"!

See I know all the ricks of the trade. I promise to not only deliver a solid commencement speech but I also might throw a drop kick or two in as well.

To book Dalton Castle as a guest speaker for your next commencement...