The Hippie life style in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park is all about free love and equal guitar shots to the face for all. I have no clue why anyone would want to be a hippie. Sure I love being lazy every now and then. Just the other week I stayed in bed on a Sunday watching all 3 “Beverly Hills Cop” movies, but I don’t think I could pull that kind of behavior off every day.

Being a hippie sucks. Sure it may seem like they haven’t a care in the world and life comes so free and easy, but the reality is it’s the lamest choice anyone could make. Hippies are constantly dirty and they stink of soup regardless of the fact that they probably haven’t tasted a decent chowder in years. If being a hippie is all about freedom then why are they constantly begging me for spare change? Hey Dear hippies, I don’t have any change to give you because I have a credit card and a bank account like a normal American. Saying you believe in equality for all and freedom to the earth is just an excuse to make up for your lack of motivation and love to procrastinate. If you were to cut that hair and trade in your tattered military jacket with the Bob Marley patches you would soon find out that the world isn’t against you, the world is just against stinky people who complain about other people all the time and then demand money from them.

I’m just happy to see that finally a bunch of San Francisco hippies realized how annoying they were being and decided to do something about it. A self loathing internal hippie beat down is the best way to lash out at the poor decisions you have been making all along.


PS: any nonconformist free loving hippie knows it’s important to not full the giant evil machine of the economy and society which is probably why there is multiple iphones present to capture this hippie self destruction.

PPS: This is the most lack luster fight I have ever seen. It looks like these dudes are swinging punches under water. The biggest injury from this fight is going to be a pulled muscle from someone causally missing a very famine punch.