The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer
10 Variations of Popular Candies You Probably Missed
People love candy: The average American spends $84 on and consumes about 23.9 pounds of the sweet stuff each year. With all that money and attention, you'd think it would be hard for a candy product to fail. Not true. Many candy products come and go without much notice. Here are 10 variations o…
8 Sexy Guinness World Records
The ultimate authority on record-breaking achievement is the Guinness Book of World Records. Some Guinness World Records are shocking. Some are insane. More than a few are downright disgusting. There are some Guinness World Records that are damn hot. From women with massive chests to balloon busting…
5 Dirty Songs Every Dude Needs in His Music Library
A man thinks about sex every six seconds. A man sings about sex every twenty seconds. Neither of those statements can be verified. Let's assume they are true.
‘Scared Straight’ for Comedians is Actually a Decent Idea
Scared Straight was a genius concept decades ago. What if it worked on comedians?
Interactive Map Shows Just What Type of Smut Your State Searches For the Most
You can learn a lot about a person based on 1) where they live and 2) their internet history. Today I learned the US is filled with fans of creampies and not the kind made by Hostess.
Erin Andrews & Charissa Thompson of Fox Sports 1 Are Our First Ever ‘Double Celeb Crushes’
In case you're unaware, or don't care about sports, Fox Sport 1 launched last week.
If ‘The Godfather’ Were Rebooted, Who Would Play Each Role?
'The Godfather' should never be touched. We're referring to both the fictional character and the entire movie franchise. It can never be improved upon (fine, the third movie needs a little work) and remains one of the greatest treasures in cinema.
6 Ways to Use Your Mom to Pick Up Women
Every dating website will preach the importance of a "wing man." Wing men are overrated. Wing women are the key to sex-cess.
Roddy Piper Comments on Ric Flair’s Recent Arrest Warrant
'Rowdy' Roddy Piper, never a man to mince words or not speak his mind, was a recent guest on WODZ to promote an upcoming 2CW Wrestling show and Piper's Pit in Utica, NY.
19 Atrocious Photos That Prove Engagement Pics Are Always a Bad Idea
Our philosophy with wedding planning is simple -- just let the woman have what she wants as long as it doesn't involve future shame. Engagement photos are future shame.
21 Things That Ruined Your Summer Vacation As a Kid
Summer vacation is the greatest time in a kid's life. No school. No bullies. No teachers. No worries.
BREAKING NEWS: Kate Upton Spotted Wearing a White Bikini and Events Like This Make Us Miss…
Did you know Kate Upton is filming a movie in the Hamptons with Mrs. Judd Apatow and the girl who really hasn't done much since 'The Mask' but once got Ben Stiller's sperm in her hair?