You Can’t Buy An Alligator On Craigslist But Here’s What You Can Buy

After I heard about a Chicago man getting arrested for trying to sell a baby alligator on Craigslist, the wheels started to turn. Not only did I suddenly need to find a new way to purchase a baby alligator but I wanted to see what else was out there. I took to the interwebs and decided to search what kind of strange animals were for sale in the Albany NY area.

After digging around on Craigslist for baby alligators and leachy gecko lizards I decided maybe it was time to look for something new. So here is what I found that grabbed my attention.

BABY BOA: This is the perfect pet for the guy who wants to prolong his death a few years. It says, I want to someday have my esophagus crushed by my own boa in my sleep but I’d rather wait and raise it for a few years until it’s big and strong enough to do so first.

RED EARED SLIDER: I have no idea what a slider even is let alone one with red ears. However, if the red eared slider is anything like what you get at White Castle then I may have to by a dozen.

8 WEEK OLD KITTENS: This title was very misleading. I for sure thought I could have gotten 8 kittens that were only a week old in one swoop. This would have been perfect for me because as most people know I only buy cats in bulk. Normally I march into the pet store with a duffel bag and say “fill this up with kittens please”!

DUMBO RAT: I don’t see why all the name calling is necessary. It’s one thing to call the creature a rat, but do they really have to lay in the insults by calling it a Dumbo too?

GUINEA PIGS: again with the name calling! Look the Italian community has done lots for the Albany area and the history of our great nation. I think it’s about time we show them a little respect.

FAWN PUG PUPPY: We have finally done it! With the help of modern day science and a little elbow grease it appears they have finally successfully bread a pug with a white tailed deer. This may be the new pet for me! I shall call him Pambi! Or freak.

LOW COST NEUTERING: Remember when it comes to chopping off your pets genitals you always want to be sure to look for a bargain!