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Would You Drink A Cocktail With Semen Or Breast Milk In It? [POLL]

Alcohol is good. I like alcohol. Most people of legal age would agree with me on both of those points. Consuming bodily fluids? Probably not something that as many people (myself included) enjoy. However, a trend is emerging where people are mixing the two.

First, a man by the name of Paul Photenhauer came up with, get your barf bags ready, a semen bartender’s handbook, which shows you how to mix your favorite beverages with your favorite male sexual secretion, giving an entirely new meaning to “White Russian.”

Listen, I’m 100% supportive of people wanting to let their freak flags fly, but I couldn’t imagine strolling up to my favorite local establishment and asking for a Man-a-rita or a Melon Ball-Emptier. But, hey, to each their own, right?

A food columnist also developed a number of drinks featuring breast milk, which is equally awkward considering you can just go down the road to any place that sells non-human milk and put it in your drink so it doesn’t have to come out of a person.

Originally, the creator of the mommy’s milk infused cocktails did so to get rid of the excess that his wife produced when breast feeding their child. Because, you know, pouring it down the sink like millions of normal people was just too abstract a concept. The next logical step was to dump it into a bottle of Jim Beam and drink up.

Who knows, maybe I’m the weird one for wanting my drinks to stay free of the bodily fluids of others. With that said, I’m not trying to find out.

Would you ever drink a cocktail laced with semen or breast milk? Take our poll and let us know.

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