Why Gingerbread Men Are Creepy And Sexually Inappropriate

It’s Christmas and there are a lot of classic traditions that come with that. One of which is Christmas cookies and the classic gingerbread man. What you may not have noticed is how unbelievably creepy the gingerbread man really is.

These are the reasons I think the gingerbread man is not appropriate for children.

#1) He has a dark blank stare that clearly is masking the evil inside his hard, carbohydrate filled, soulless body.

#2) He wears gumdrop buttons on a shirtless body. What are these buttons holding closed?

#3) He rocks sleeve cuffs without a shirt like some sort of miniature chippendale dessert.

#4) The Gingerbread man looks delicious and is always tempting you to put him in your mouth.

#5) He is completely bald and it’s not natural. Gingerbread man has less hair then an Olympic swimmer.