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Why Are Men “Returning The Favor?”

So, there’s a whole lot going on surrounding women’s rights, in these united states. Some places are trying to tighten up abortion restrictions, while others are trying to do away with a woman’s right to choose altogether. And still other places are trying to make it harder for women to prevent the potential need for an abortion by restricting their access to birth control. Because no birth control and no abortions is absolutely the way we should go when there’s also no jobs and no fair pay. Let’s face it; $7.25 an hour (current minimum wage) barely supports one person in New York, let alone a single mother–or father–of any number of children.

I bet you can guess just how excited I am about these developments in our country’s politics. Because old, rich, white men with big, fancy houses, gas-guzzling SUVs, 14 kids, and 34 grandkids should TOTALLY be making life-affecting decisions for those of us with barely enough money to rent a fleabag apartment in the ghetto. Totally.

And don’t even get me started on the fact that health insurance companies are required to cover Viagra, but do not have to cover birth control.

With the political focus on reproduction, it’s no surprise that a lot of researchers are focusing their attentions in that direction as well. And it’s of even less surprise that some of their studies are focused on why we do things that don’t directly lead to reproduction. Or why MEN do things that don’t directly lead to reproduction. Because women are all a bunch of sluts who will do any dirty thing they’re presented with regardless of whether or not it will get them pregnant, apparently. I mean, obviously. Otherwise we wouldn’t need things like birth control and abortion.

Some researchers from Oakland University did a study on why men perform cunnilinguson their female partners. Or, more accurately, whether or not the act of cunnilingus was created out of a need to be the last man standing in a sperm competition.

That sounds dirty, doesn’t it? The visuals it brings to mind are priceless. Or maybe I’m just a pervert.

The report’s introduction seems to assert that all men are completely paranoid about their partner cheating the second sex is over, and the woman’s out of their sight. And while it doesn’t outright say all women cheat on their partners, it insinuates that they almost definitely will if the opportunity presents itself; or at least that this, at one point in history, was so much of a problem that men, collectively and subconsciously, have begun evolving the way they act in sexual relationships to protect themselves from the possibility of raising another man’s child. Just…wow.

I’ve asked a lot of men about their stance on oral sex, and I’m happy to report that, consistent with the study’s conclusion, the vast majority of the men I know are firm in their belief that if they want to receive oral sex (and most of them do), then they should also give it. But besides that, most of them just genuinely enjoy going down on their ladies. However, there are some who give reasons for not enjoying cunnilingus that are totally compiled in Sexual Myth Land, and it’s painfully obvious they’ve never put their face close enough to a vulva to formulate a real opinion on the act.

If this is you, fellas, I suggest you get over the stigma; and fast. Because today’s woman is increasingly indignant about equality, both in the bedroom and out of it. They’re becoming more and more independent sexually as well as financially. And it won’t be too much longer before your lady friends demand to receive just as much satisfaction as they give. Hallelujah and amen.

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