What’s Wrong With Hearting Lady Parts?
Let me just start out by saying I’m proud. I popped over to the Q103 tent at Qruption, last weekend, and had a chat with the lovely Jodi and Jen of the Q-tease. Turns out, some of you screwed your courage to the sticking point and got your picture taken. Or forced your men to get their picture taken. Good for you.
Did you see the I <3 Vagina tent?
How could you miss it, right? Despite being off to the far left, it was the first thing M and I saw when we walked through the gates. I laughed out loud.
Later, we sidled up to the table, and I started reading the shirts and stickers he had on display. When I saw the shirt that said, “I shaved my balls for this?” I asked where the shirts that said, “I shaved my muff for this?” were.
He’s all, “Heard it. They’re coming. But what about the shirts that say, ‘I grew my muff for this?’ huh?”
“Ah,” I replied. “Indeed. There’s a growing business in muff porn, these days.”
And this is a typical conversation when you run into me standing on the sidewalk in front of an I <3 Vagina tent.
Okay, so this is a typical conversation with me anywhere.
When we were finished heckling each other, I bought a shirt, and he seemed almost sad to be selling it to me. I laughed at that, too, and M and I walked off to find something else to do.
But while we stood there, M and I listened to the conversations going on around us.
Wait…what? Vagina is disgusting? Honey, you need to spend some time naked with your mirror. Because let me tell you, your vagina is beautiful.
“How offensive. Why would they allow that?”
All right. I’ll concede that the “C” word is a little upsetting for some, and he had a few of those scattered around, too. But most of the conversations we heard were about the big, bold lettering on the tent. And they weren’t upset about the I or the heart.
“There are kids here!”
Vagina. A word so offensive even those who have them cringe when they see it out in public. Heaven forbid a parent be forced to explain vagina love to their boy child. At a rock concert. Where, unless he’s plugging his ears when we’re be-bopping along to our music on the way to dropping him off at school, he’s not learning anything he doesn’t know already.
But it wasn’t just the ladies. Men with women on their arms whispered about the “nerve” of that guy, and turned their heads away. So, it’s bad manners to love vagina, but if you don’t love vagina, you’re not a man? I’m so confused.
Before we left, the guy handed me some stickers, and I put one on my hat, and the other on M’s. What better way to advertise that in the right situation we’d be down for bringing another girl into our bed, eh? Plus, I kinda love my vagina. She’s been real good to me.
Ladies and gentlemen, please. Show the vagina some love. Because like Big Rich said, “Who doesn’t love vagina?”