Urban Dictionary may be my all-time favorite site for laughs. Have you ever tried looking up some of our local cities? How about Albany for starters.We all know there is a stigma to Albany. Now, Urban Dictionary in my opinion is purely a giant group of opinions from tourists. Regardless, here we go.

ALBANY

The number ONE party place to chill, where 16 years old go to Paulies and the Post, while any legal drinker heads to WT's for their awesomely amazing wings and 85 cent beers at happy hour. Quite the college town where cabs are 3 bucks a head, girls wear tank tops and flipflops in the middle of the dead winter, you can buy pizza at 4AM, chalk your id and expect the bouncer to not only let you in but complement the fine art. Every other person who goes to Albany is either from NYC and LI and don't understand the difference between Upstate and Western NY, wear abercrombie and hollister with their tims. You wonder why people play in the water on fountain day when you obviously see snow on the ground, can't remember why you came here, except for the fact that you couldn't make Cornell or NYU and wanted to save money. Actually, you had no choice, but you read enough about the school in Princeton Review. The public bus makes its own schedule when you need it on weekends, and your car stays in its parking spot until the snow starts to melt in april. You envy those who live in the mustard complex with their heat and free laundry, but your lottery number is well over a 1000 so you head downtown, where you can never sleep, occasionally have your car towed or hit by another driver, and take advantage of the location by becoming a local at cagneys, chubby's, sadies, or stonecrow. You don't understand "downtown" past Quail street until you become 21 and venture off to Lark and S. Pearl. Ahh, this is ALBANY for you.

 

I've got 8 dollars and need to get smashed, that's cover cab, cover, and drinks in Albany!

Sweet review bro!! That's what people outside of the Capital Region are going to think of you. Perhaps lie about which Capital Region city you are from. Let's try Schenectady.

SCHENECTADY

Heads up, I'm, for moral reasons and standards, going to cut a little out of this one. Full link here.

A bustling metropolis North of NYC. Once famous, now is largely inhabited by drug dealers who couldn't hack it in the big city, and the gangs of roaming crack heads that have fallen victim to the lure of the big city dope dealer's product. There are also alot of Guyanese people who have moved there from NYC and started buying property and making improvements on that property in order to turn it over for a profit....then buy nice homes for themselves in Rotterdam, a nice town on the Schenectady border where the Italians live for the most part. And let us not forget the prostitutes, as there are many. From somewhat high-class call girl types, to nasty toothless.

 

In the early to mid 90's, Schenectady was dubbed "Baby New York" largely due to the high murder rate. However, the people that still live there have never given up hope, and they have new pipe dreams every year of businesses moving in. Most businesses that do make the seemingly drastic move to Schenectady typically employ less than 100 people, thus not putting a dent in the city's unemployment problem. Some of the Schenectadian's favorite pass times include: spin the crack head, guess who's got VD.

 

Some other names for Schenectady are Scum-nectady, Skank-ectady, and s*** town.

Whoa, harsh. Beyond harsh. Is it really that bad? I don't think so. Let's try Troy.

TROY

Yet again, needed to crop this one a bit. Full link here.

Troy is well known for its many over populated housing projects infested with cockroaches & welfare momma's. Many of its homeless are ex stock brokers, reality TV stars, Politicians, & famous rap artist for the 90's. They live as urban nomads in the city parks cooking pigeon stew & holding gypsy carnivals that mainly consist of oral sex booths & rat clubbing.

 

Incest & brutality towards woman are not only encouraged but celebrated in Troy by its 'Kiss your sweetie with your fist day' dances usually held in the streets & funded entirely by food stamps. Known as the birthplace of both the AIDS Virus & Uncle Sam, the city offers nothing for tourism other than connecting the herpes sores on dead hookers mouths with a marker as you stumble across their corpses trying to flee the city & stopping to see the midget Puerto Ricans with Dragon Ball Z cartoon character hair working at the Peebles on Hoosick st. for a seminar about the basics of living off welfare momma's and being a confidental police informant. English is not their primary language.

 

OK, I guess we don't have a good rep here in Capital land. Good to know.

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