The story is brief, but just as amusing as the title makes it out to be.

36 year-old Troy resident John Marcus Jr. must have decided to have one last barbecue before the winter storms descend.  Why else would he need to stock up on $80 worth of "free" meat from Price Chopper?

A real-life Hamburgler tried to pull off the porkchop caper of the century when he decided to pay a visit to the Price Chopper on Vandenburgh Road in the middle of the day.  What's even better is that it turns out our mischievous meat smuggler figured he'd be inconspicuous with all that meat stuffed in his pants, which is why he decided it would be a good idea to stuff them with "various packaged raw meats."  LOGIC!  The tasteless jokes are already running amok in my brain right now.

Things didn't work out so well for Mr. Marcus when store employees noticed him acting suspiciously and stopped him before he got a chance to escape with his load of lambchops.  I guess he didn't practice his stride with all the extra heft in his pants - cue more tasteless jokes.

The fun and games ended with Marcus being charged with petit larceny, and an overstuffed his pants.