Pacu, Testicle-Eating 'Ball-Cutter' Fish Spotted In Sweden

Just when you thought it was safe to swim naked in the waters of France you learn what might be swimming beneath is craving your family jewels. A fish native to South America and a close cousin of the piranha was recently caught in the Seine River in Paris, France.

“A stunned fisherman called the Paris river police after finding the toothy South American native on the end of his line, according to a statement by Paris police on Tuesday.Skeptical, but interested, police asked him to send over a photo of the catch.When he did, river cops were shocked to find it was none other than the pacu, a cousin of the piranha, which is nicknamed “ball-cutter”, after its taste for human testicles.” – thelocal

I think I may have just decided I only swim in pools from here on out. I knew there were fish on this planet that could bite me, sting me and even swallow me whole. However, learning that there is a fish that flat out craves the taste of my coin purse terrifies me. Sure it’s flattering to think something might be so ambitious to want to snack on something as personal and privet as my fuzzy hammock, but I just don’t think I’m ready to part with them. I will never enter a river, lake or ocean again without the protection of an athletic cup.

Pacu, the testicle-eating fish

Testicle-eating fish, the Pacu, found in Paris with fears it could be coming to the UK