The Real Secret to Better Sex

All of my friends follow and RT their zodiac sign on Twitter. It's so bizarre to me, because back in the day, people would make fun of you if you were into astrology. These days, it seems like everyone I know puts at least a little stock in it. And when I finally gave in and followed my zodiac sign (Aries) on Twitter, I realized why.

While there are definitely people who don't fit their signs, the people I know fit their signs to a T, so reading the tweets of the zodiac accounts is like hearing your life story come out of the mouths of strangers.

The other day, one of the Aries accounts tweeted:

“An #Aries can't deal with someone that complains about everything instead of doing something about it.”

And it's so very true. There's nothing that makes me crazy like listening to someone complain over and over and over again about something they hate about their life, only to find out later they've taken no steps to correct it.

I asked my followers, “If you had one question you wanted answered about sex and/or relationships, what would it be?” and one of the questions was, “Why are so many people happy with s*&$%y sex and/or relationships?” And you know, that's a damn good question. One I think about a lot.

Last year, while watching my timeline fly by, I saw someone tweet the secret to better sex and orgasms. It was “Do it yourself.” I think I may have literally banged my head on my desk. I don't understand why people are more comfortable enduring crappy sex and mismatched partnerships than going after what they need and deserve – either by talking to their partner about what they're not getting from them, or, if that doesn't work out, finding a new partner.

Bottom line: It doesn't matter who you're with, how many relationships you've had, how much you've dated, how much life you've lived. If you can't comfortably open up to your partner(s), your relationships and/or sex will always suck. People aren't psychic. We have to get to know each other to give our partners what they need. And sometimes, that means we have to outright tell them, “I need this from you...”

What's more, we're living in a time of serial monogamy. People feel like they have to be in a relationship to be worth anything. And they'll stick it out in a bad relationship for any number of reasons ranging from a fear of being alone to a fear of the person they're with.

This is asinine. Unless you're married (and sometimes not even then, depending on the situation), you've got no obligation to stick around for anyone but yourself. If you're not happy, and there's no fixing it, you are allowed to leave. That's how life works.

I don't care who you are, or what you've done in the past (excluding, like, violent crime and stuff). You deserve happiness, and you should actively pursue it. Even if that means moving on.

And that's all I've got to say about that.