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The Good, the Bad and the Rumble.

The 2017 WWE Royal Rumble had it’s moments but I would not put it in the top 5 greatest Royal Rumbles of all time, I would not even put it in the top 10.

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Throughout the evening I consumed 6 Molsons and a box of Wheat Thins, I now have a hangover and none of the morning people have any aspirin, I thought that woman always have aspirin on them but I am wrong, just like I was wrong about who was going to win the Royal Rumble.

I was very disappointed with the opening match, it was the six women tag team match, it was quick and pointless and I saved a beer just for that match. The girls introductions took longer then the actual match.

Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson defeated Cesaro and Sheamus for the Tag Team Titles, but it was during the pre-show so it makes the Titles seem like they are not very important.

Nia Jax beat up Sasha Banks and no one was surprised.

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Seriously… look at them! Are you surprised?

The actual event was fun but I felt that it was lacking something, Charlotte Flair successfully defended her Women’s Championship and her Pay Per View winning streak against the lovable, adorable Bayley but this one is far from over and will probably continue until Wrestlemania but they had a pretty good match.

Kevin Owens successfully defended his WWE Universal Championship against Roman Reigns, I enjoy Kevin Owens in the ring and on the mic, the guy always cracks me up on the mic and in the ring he is brutal and he also has an extensive move-set that I enjoy seeing a man of his size execute but the giant scary beard man Brom Stroman interfered in the match and beat up Roman Reigns and Kevin Owens won but the win was not clean and this is something I am getting tired of, they have not let Kevin Owens win a match on his own in such a long time that it’s getting stale.

Chris Jericho was hanging in a shark cage high above the ring for this one and he dropped brass knuckles into the ring for his best friend Kevin Owens to use, classic.

Jumpy, flippy British guy Neville defeated jumpy, flippy Champion Rich Swann with a submission move instead of a jumpy, flippy move it was cool.

The guy who plays John Cena on TV defeated AJ Styles for the WWE Championship, some people say that this was the match of the night but not me, I can not be entertained by John Cena because he is a terrible actor: You have two guys in the ring who are supposed to be destroying each other but throughout the grueling 24 minute match AJ Styles looks like he can barely stand but John Cena looks completely unaffected while making stupid exaggerated faces, the ending of the match is always predictable John Cena wins, all of the wrestling fans are pissed but the kids are happy… yay.

My four year old son says that he is a John Cena fan, my son has never actually seen a wrestling match and if it was not for the action figure someone else gave him he would not even know what John Cena looks like. I like to mess with my son, he loves that new Trolls movie, so I tell him that John Cena hates Trolls, I also tell my son that Justin Timberlake is a girl and that Gwen Stefani is a vacuum, don’t judge me.

The 30 man Royal Rumble match could of been great, I did not mind that there were no surprise returns and one debut, I cheered when the Undertaker showed up and eliminated Bill Goldberg and I did not mind the cheesy way that Bill Goldberg eliminated Brock Lesnar. What ruined the Royal Rumble for me and for most of the WWE Universe was when Roman Reigns came out as #30.

Of all the people that could of came out at #30, it could of been a big debut it could of been a big surprise return, it could of been someone that would of made the crowd stand up and cheer!

Instead, it was the guy that lost his match at the beginning of the show, the guy that everyone boos because they don’t want another John Cena, and then that guy eliminates the Undertaker.

Randy Orton won the Royal Rumble with an RKO out of nowhere, so at least they tried to please the crowd after they stunk up the whole thing with Roman Reigns.

Between the predictability of the John Cena match and the disappointment of Roman Reigns coming out last the 2017 Royal Rumble was ok…. I wanted it to be great, I wanted to see Finn Balor, Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle, instead I got Roman Reigns and James Ellsworth… yay.

 

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