The Concert That Changed My Perspective

Whether it's the atmosphere of the venue, where you are in life, or the way the two intersect -- some shows are just bound to stay with you.

Ever since I first heard the song 'Oh Comely' when I was 13 I’ve had an undying love for Neutral Milk Hotel. Some of my fondest memories of my childhood exist around their songs - driving fast with the windows down on Brimfield, and a packed car belting the lyrics to 'In the Aeroplane Over the Sea' as if it were our anthem all along. I feel truly blessed to announce that I’ve acquired another beautiful Neutral Milk Hotel memory - seeing Jeff Mangum live in “concert.”

I couldn’t really even call it a concert - it was a completely (I used the words “soul altering”) experience that I still cannot believe I was a part of. When he walked down the aisle of the chapel, (yea, he played in a church) I didn’t recognize him at first, because his hair / beard had tripled in length. But his sweater gave him away I guess, which I had seen him wearing in photos from years gone by.

The concert started much the way I thought it would - he didn’t say a lot; just started playing, only stopping in between songs to sip some water. He was fighting off a cold but he still sounded absolutely beautiful. First he played 'Holland 1945,' which everyone sung along to. Then he started in with 'Two Headed Boy pt. 2,' which still stands as my favorite Neutral Milk Hotel song. Needless to say, I was in tears about seven minutes into the show. At the end of the song when the guitar gets quiet and Mangum’s voice gets softer, it just evokes such emotion in me, and to see that live was just intense - I can’t even describe it any other way.

I have never experienced something as touching as this show - it was incredible and overwhelming how all of us were just completely mesmerized by this mysterious man, whose music we grew up to - just sitting like a normal guy, but he was really our God that night in the chapel.

During 'The King of Carrot Flowers pt. 2&3,' his mic kept cutting out, so he stepped away from it and played only his guitar, while the entire room started reciting the lyrics together. We finished singing out the song with him, and it was just completely moving (cried again). He kept telling us to sing with him. We did, and all I could think was, “Oh my god, I’m singing Neutral Milk Hotel lyrics with Jeff Mangum - not from an iPod or in the car; literally with him.”

I felt connected to everyone in the room that night. The crowd would clap, stomp, and even sing parts where trumpets were missing from some of the songs the whole time. The cheering and “I love you” ‘s after each song were so genuine, it felt like we were all totally beside ourselves to be there. He even said how he was really happy to be there and that the crowd had really nice energy. Some people would make silly noises / laugh in between songs, and he would just say “that was a good noise.” It was hilarious because he really doesn’t talk much. It even said on the ticket that we couldn’t take photos / videos per Mangum’s request.

He “finished the show” and we all gave an overwhelming standing ovation / applause. We knew it wasn’t over, but he made me sweat a little because he waited like two whole minutes to come back on stage (which felt like a lot). By the end of it I thought the floor might cave in because of how hard we were stomping. Then, he played 'In the Aeroplane Over the Sea,' which the whole room came alive for. It was beautiful to be a part of (cried again).

This was by far the best concert / one of my single fondest memories of being a living, breathing thing. I’ll never forget it. When he left (in his Volvo which he drove himself) we saw him at one end of the road, and he had to loop around to where we were standing. As he passed, me and 6 of my closest friends all clapped for him, like a silent gesture of utter respect. He smiled the biggest smile and waved to us. It was incredible.

It’s amazing for me to think how one person, who I don’t even know, has literally touched my life. This show made me think fondly on my past, as I heard all of our old anthems, and feel warm and completely at peace with my life in that moment. His lyrics paint a picture in my head of another time, in a place that might not exist, that I somehow so often feel nostalgia for - coupled with a broken heart dedicated to people I never knew.

I admire Jeff Mangum so much that he makes such beautiful art, even after the band's hit album 'In the Aeroplane Over the Sea''s 15th birthday. I never thought in a million years I would ever get to see one of my heroes in this way and I still feel so lucky. His modesty is awe inspiring - the whole show was so raw and honest, it reminded me why music is one of the most important things in my life. Since that night I’ve been reminded of how beautiful life can be- it’s become so easy to lose myself in stress and uncertainty, but now I feel a comfort I haven’t felt in a long time.