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The Ten Best Tweets By Stephanie The Corporate Computer Babe

For those of you haven't yet met Stephanie, she is one of our favorite people. Every once in a while she comes in to town to spread her inter-webs knowledge with us, and we couldn't be more grateful for that. She knows how to get us views, and also how to make us laugh. One of the best things we could have done is follow her on twitter. Her tweets are, in a word, epic. They always make us laugh, occasionally shake our heads and sometimes look around to make sure no one was reading over our shoulder. So here are her best tweets – so far. She's not done yet. Not even close.

Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie): If you spoon with a fat person, is it called ladling?



Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie): Pretending to be a functioning adult is exhausting.



Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie): Ask any girl, and she'll tell you she prefers being barefoot. Ask her how many shoes she owns, she'll say dozens. Lesson: We're crazy.



Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie): If girls REALLY wanted nice guys, they'd look for them at Star Wars conventions instead of bars.



Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie): Guys always complain about how long girls take in the shower like they wouldn't take just as long if they had boobs, water and soap.



Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie): I haven't received a text in 40 minutes. Am I dead? Is this heaven? Did Pauly Shore really happen?



Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie): I'm at a country music festival, which is pretty much: WalMart: The Musical!



Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie): Girls complain about guys using them for sex, but sex is awesome! Start bitching when he uses you for laundry, or as a human shield.



Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie): If I were a nun, I would only wear Converse and call my shoes my Nun Chucks!



Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie): Sometimes I sit at a green light not because I'm not paying any attention, but because I'm curious if the car behind me has a custom horn.


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