Teen On Drugs Cuts Off Own Penis

A 19-year-old in England got all hopped up on “meow meow” and went slice-happy with a knife. First he attacked his mother and he turned his attention towards the problem in his pants.

“The West Sussex teen, whose name has not been released, took mephedrone on December 29 shortly before attacking his 46-year-old mother, the Mirror reported.

The woman called police and “when the police arrived they found him hanging from a window and then discovered he had cut off his penis," a family friend told the Mirror.

Surgeons were reportedly able to reattach the penis.” –HP

A few things about this story that really spark my attention. First, I was unaware there was a drug called “meow meow.” That scares me that I know this now. I don’t do drugs but how can any one resists trying something with such an adorable name like “meow meow.”

Second, what kind of monster just decides “this penis is driving me crazy, it’s got to go?” I can understand attacking your mother. Perhaps she was very mean and provoked your drugged up self-defense, but what has your dork done to deserve this kind of negligence.

Third, I feel comfort in knowing that the can reattach something like your clown. I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat thinking if it ever accidently falls off that would be it. It’s nice to know that not if but when I cross that bridge I will have a second chance.