funny

My New Year's resolution for 2016, is to be more realistic, I am setting the bar pretty low, because I would probably fail if it was not, and I want this year to be a success. My New Year's resolution could've been to quite drinking and smoking, but when the ball dropped I am pretty sure I was smoking a cigarette, I don't know I was kind of drunk...

Today is the day that we are all supposed to look forward, and set goals, or resolutions, to better ourselves, but most of us did the same thing last year and failed, like me. I did not have a very productive 2015, all I did was help launch this pilot for a sketch comedy show...

Another Christmas has come and gone, I got new socks, a new blanket and a bottle of whiskey, Did you get everything you wanted for Christmas? I also got 11 things from the good folks, here at Q103, it should of been 12, but I was late to the party...

I've always wanted my own Christmas Special, for the past 4 years, I have forced my Holiday cheer onto the public, by any means necessary, because I am American, and that is how we do it, in America! Remember that time I saved Christmas? Remember that time, Bob the 86er and I, saved Seth Rollins...

On the 12th day of Christmas, Q103 gave to me, the end. The original plan was to have me sit in front of the drummer of Red Sun Rising, during his sound check, but I was running late because of traffic going north. I had missed my window, to sit in front of a drum kit, and have me ears blown out, for America and for Christmas...

On the 11th day of Christmas, Q103 gave me oregano, but it was supposed to be "Pipers Piping," and now I would like to file a complaint. Although I enjoy sharing my gifts, from Q103 with all of you, there are 2 that I am upset about. "Ladies Dancing" I did not mind the glitter bomb, it felt kind of dazzling, but if someone asked me what would I rather get...

On the 9th day of Christmas, Q103 gave to me, a face full of glitter, instead of "Ladies Dancing." If the Rock Girl could dump feathers on my head after, DJ Supreme covered my head with chocolate sauce and whipped cream, we couldn't have her back to dance for me, instead of throwing glitter in my face...

Got Milk? On the 8th day of Christmas Q103, gave to me, milk, instead of "Maids a milking," Dave poured milk over my head. There was some whipped cream mixed into the milk, of course, and the sugar burned my eyes. At this point, I would like to declare myself, the new face of "The 12 Days of Christmas," because all of the things that I have been smashed in the face with, or in

On the 7th day of Christmas, Q103 gave to me, a full bottle of chocolate syrup, on my head, then some whipped cream, of course, then the Rock Girl dumped feathers on my head and beat me with a pillow. I know that they are supposed to give me 7 Swans-a-Swimming, instead of Swans-a-Swimming, but as you can see, there are no swans in this video...

On the 6th day of Christmas, Q103 gave to me, 6 eggs, instead of "6 Geese A Laying," because if they hit me in the face with 6 geese, it would be messy, very messy. Just in case you silly folks, want to split hairs about it. 2 eggs were in the plate, that someone, so politely smashed into my face...

On the 5th day of Christmas, Q103 gave to me, 5 Onion Rings, to the face, if they had given me 5 Golden Rings I would of opened my mouth, so I could swallow them and keep them. I have been smashed in the face with food and beat in the head with a phone for Christmas, I don't know if these gifts are for me or for you, because I don't get to keep the things I get smashed in the face with, or beat in

On the 4th day of Christmas, Q103 gave to me a phone, not a smart phone, or a cell phone and not even a cordless phone, but a corded phone. I am both happy and proud to receive this gift from Q103, because I am pretty sure that I am the only person in America, receiving this gift, and it went straight to my head...