Russia Fools Dick Tracy and Hacks the Oscars

Dick Tracy remembered where he had parked the Squad Car but he could not remember what envelope he had in his hands at the 2017 Academy Awards and an anonymous source, who insisted that they are not Madonna wearing a faceless mask, has indicated that the Russians are behind it.

What is it?

I ask this because I like it when people ask me the question or repeat what I say because it makes me feel important.

I know that Warren Beaty is not really Dick Tracy and that Russia was not behind the confusion last night at the Oscars when Warren Beaty accidentally announced that "La La Land" won best picture when it was "Moonlight" that won.

It was not Russia. They did not hack the Oscars to get revenge on Hollywood because of how celebrities treat Donald Trump.

It was me because no one from the Trappist-1 System was nominated for an award.

As a representative of the Trappist-1 System, I would like to shame the Academy and let the Academy know that last night was just a warning. If no one from the Trappist-1 System is nominated next year, we will switch all of the envelopes. We will also use our invisible gun to make the clothes of all the really old celebrities disappear.

On a side note: I have been referencing the Trappist-1 System on my facebook and twitter account and no one seems to know what I am talking about, which leads me to believe that I am actually an alien.