Sometimes it takes every ounce of strength not to raise your fist to women. And sometimes you get creative and it still ends up with you in jail.

According to the weekly vice, Fred Thomas, a 62 year old man from Rockland Maine was sent to jail recently for allegedly hitting his estranged wife in the face with his penis. His reasoning for doing this was because his wife had turned down his offer of $20 for sex. Which is bizarre on its own because given the choice to have sex with a 62 year old man for $20 or have a 62 year old penis hit you in the face for $0, I’m taking the $20.

I think this man should receive a little slack on his charges do to the fact that he got creative and tried really hard not to hit his wife. I’m assuming this wrinkly old man was so furious that he started searching the room for something to his wife with and when he couldn’t find anything he raised his fist then lowered it because he knew that would be wrong. Given his choice to use his junk as a Billy club was still wrong you got to credit the dude for trying.