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Relationship Lacking Excitement?

So you’re out somewhere with your partner. You’ve been there half a dozen times, and you always have a great time. But this time, something’s off.

DMahendra, flickr

You brush it off. That’s life. No one’s 100% all the time. Relationships are the same. You redouble your efforts to have a good evening, maybe even going a little overboard. And all your attempts fall flat.

You wouldn’t worry about it, so much, but just the other day you were telling your friends the relationship’s got no pop. No matter what you guys do together, it feels like you’re just going through the motions. Is your relationship doomed?

Maybe, maybe not. Le’s get to the bottom of it, shall we?

Think. When was the last time a date with your lover was lively and fun? When’s the last time you couldn’t stop laughing, or your gaze lingered so long the rest of the world disappeared? Shame on you if you can’t remember.

What’d you do? What’d you talk about? And what’s happened since then? If you can’t think of anything negative, you might be in the clear.

Don’t stop there, though. The next step’s to talk to your partner. However, refrain from focusing only on yourself and your worries. They are important, and you should bring them up. Just make sure you ask them what’s going on in their life outside of you, too. How’s the fam? Is work working out? Did they pass the test they studied so hard for last week? But don’t ask like that. You’ll sound like my mother. Or like you’re prying.

Tell your partner why you’re asking. Don’t be overly dramatic, just let them know you’re concerned. And trust them to tell you what they think is the issue.

If there’s nothing going on outside of the relationship, and you’re sure there are no hard feelings within the relationship, maybe it’s your activities that need some work. How many times have you been to the movies in the last six months? When’s the last time you went for a walk in the park? Found a big field to fly a kite in? Boredom and routine can be a death sentence for some relationships.

Or maybe do something you’ve never done before! Plan a treasure hunt. Reserve a hot air balloon ride. Get in the car, pick a direction and drive.

If that’s not the problem, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, you need to take a look at your sex life. As much as it sucks, if things aren’t going well in the bedroom, they’re probably not going to go well in the rest of your relationship, either. Sexual intimacy is an important part in the way we relate to our lovers.

There is always the possibility that you’re just not meant for each other. In that case, no amount of spicy bedroom activities or kite flying is going to fix it. The best thing for everyone is to just move on. But don’t make that decision on your own. It’s not just your burden to bear.

Questions?  Follow Rayne on twitter for all kinds of fun!

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