NY Courts Declare Chimps Are Not People

I'm pretty sure this could have been solved with a See 'N Say.

There are people in Fulton County who own a chimp. Some people are not happy with the living conditions of said chip, CBS6 reports. These people say that, were it a human, it's living conditions would be unlawful solitary confinement. On to the part where we go to court.

I'm no lawyer, but I know appeals court means this is at least your second time. I've also never participated in a real legal case, but from what I've seen in movies and on tv, most courts, one judge. This went to a three judge Appellate Division panel, whatever that is.

It turns out that, in a unanimous decision, chimps are not people. I'm going to repeat that for clarity. Chimps are not people.

So now that we're past the legal part, why would you go through the trouble of obtaining a chimp, just to give it a miserable existence? Maybe I'm wrong here. I don't see this chimp everyday. I don't know his lifestyle. I do know that dogs like big open spaces, cats don't care about you unless they're hungry, and chimps don't seem to be building cages out in the wild to live in.