New Year Resolutions that Have Already Failed

We are officially two weeks in to the New Year. Many resolutions were made, the same as with every other New Year. And despite being only two weeks in to 2018, many resolutions have already failed. I'm not sure where you stand with yours, but here's a few of the failures that I've already encountered and witnessed in 2018.

1
Fitness
January 1st, 2018: "I'm going to the gym and getting in shape this year!"
Two weeks in: ... not going to the gym routinely and not getting in shape.
I know so many people who have made this resolution, and a ton that dwindle off around the two week mark, including in 2018. How about some small attainable and sustainable goals instead towards healthiness?
2
Profanity
January 1st, 2018: "I'm going to cut out swearing this year!"
January 2nd, 2018 a few hours into the work day: "***** ***** *****"
This one has failed for a ton of those I know already. Maybe just try cutting down on profanity instead?
3
"New Year New Me!"
This is one I've heard so many times, year after year. From everyone I've heard who's ever said it (including in 2018), I haven't seen a "new me" or any steps towards change. Those who I HAVE seen create a "new me"- the people who set small goals and work towards them to make changes. We are only two weeks in though, the year is young.
4
Savings
January 1st, 2018: "This is the year, I'm going to save a ton of money!"
Two weeks in: Bills haven't changed, income hasn't increased, and it's the same old hamster-wheel for all of us.
...At least you can win awesome prizes through Q103 contests and save money there!
5
Procrastination
January 1st, 2018: "I'm gong to be SO organized this year, get everything done on time, and be ahead"
Two weeks in: "wait, that work report is due when? Tomorrow?!"
Let's face it, us procrastinators have deep-seeded ways. I gave up on this resolution a long, long time ago. In fact, giving up on trying not to procrastinate is probably the only thing I've ever been ahead on.