Mother Turns To Craig’s List To Get Nerdy Son Laid Before College
This chick has got to be in the running for the “Mother of the year” award, right? I feel like trying to get your son to lose his virginity via Craig’s list is at least top 5 material. I mean what sane adult wants their son to be the strange weirdo virgin in the freshman class of Harvard? No mother wants that! Instead let’s make our son the strange weirdo who lost his virginity from some hooker off craigslist that his wacko mother bought him right before dropping him off at orientation. Now that is a normal all American family. Thanks mom!
This is going to sound strange but my son is a senior in High School and I want to help him. He’s 18 and will go away to Harvard in the fall. He’s extremely smart but socially awkward, has never had a girl friend and I’m sure he’s a virgin. I want to find a cute young girl to date him and turn him from high school nerd to cool college kid. He’s very handsome and extremely fit, he’s on the varsity cross country team so I’d say there’s almost zero body fat on him. You need to be 19 or under as 20+ would probably freak him out. lol
Here’s my plan. I’ll buy 4 tickets to some great concert coming up and give two to my son and 2 to you. He will know nothing about the other 2 tickets. He’ll go to the show with one of his buddies (no way he’ll take a girl, he’s to shy to ask them out) and you and your friend will be in the seats next to them. Now you spring into action, you start talking to him during the concert and eventually pick him up. Ask him to take you somewhere after and ditch your friends. Then you seduce him and take his virginity. Keep dating him (and showing him different sex positions) til he goes to college and then let him go gently so he’ll have the confidence to date other girls once he’s there.
In return I’ll make your financial issues disappear. Please put your favorite type of car in the subject, to show that you’re real. Thanks! – CL