I guess he just REALLY needed to be under the influence.  It's a comedy of errors when a dude in search of some illegal drugs lands himself in jail.  Keep reading and take a lesson from the new poster-child of "What You Shouldn't Do When Doing Things You Shouldn't Do." I guess the whole "illegal drugs make you stupid" theory holds true.  At least it does in the case of 23 year-old Joseph Lombardi.  The whole story can be found here, but let me provide you with a breakdown.

Last week, the governor of Pennsylvania signed a bill that outlawed a type of incense that mirrors the effects of illegal drugs if it's smoked.  The sad hero of our tale let temptation get the better of him when he tried to rip off the stash from a local Food Mart store.  To be fair, he did leave a $1 million dollar bill on the counter as he sprinted out the door without waiting for his change.  Unfortunately, the store's owner and local authorities weren't as amused by this as I was when reading about it.  They caught up with Lombardi and charged him with theft by deception as well as retail theft.

Here's where I get confused though; I want to know how under the influence Joe actually had to get in order to think this scheme was actually going to work.  I've heard that when in partaking of the substance, people come up with seemingly "great" ideas that always end up with someone in jail.  It seems to me that he must have been more desperate than usual if the only option you have left is to roll some potpourri for a buzz.  Then to risk things even further by making a detour at the register to "pay" for the illegal substance you're really just stealing?!  Obviously, we're dealing with a criminal mastermind here.  What's the adage about there being a fine line between genius and stupidity?  This guy is definitely straddling the line, but with a tendency for teetering on the latter.  Is it any wonder the kind of illegal drugs he tried to steal is called "Space Cadet Flight Risk"?

On the up side, he does appear to have those easily accessible million dollar bills just lying around.  He should have no problem remaining in prison forever making bail.  Whatever the outcome, I think we've all learned something here: if you're stupid, you will go to jail.  The End.