And here I'm struggling to make a dollar out of fifteen cents and this random ass couple in VA is winning millions like it's no big deal. I kind of hate them, frankly!

And here's why:

March 12

Powerball drawing, couple hits all five numbers but misses the actual 'Powerball.' Good for $1 million.

March 26

Couple hits for $50,000 in the VA lotto's Pick 4 with 10 tickets using the numbers 6666.

March 27

Scratch-off ticket, $100 Million Cash Extravaganza. Couple hits for $1 million.

 

Hey couple in VA? I HATE YOU! I'm over here in upstate NY playing Lucky 7's hoping to grab a quick $20, losing my butt, and you're just showing up at stores, playing numbers one off from the devil's mating call, grabbing over $2 million like it's nothing.

You know what? I hate your luck! I hate the fact that this story exists. Yeah, I'm bitter: you're damn right. The odds of winning even a small amount via the lotto is ridiculous and you're just out there snagging millions like you have the Midas touch.

You know what, enjoy your money! I hope you buy really cheesy furs and terrible additions to your modest triple-wide trailer! I bet you even drop a sizeable amount of money on your suped-up dually, snagging up bails of cocaine, thinking you're untouchable!

But seriously though, I take all that back. Enjoy your new-found wealth million dollar couple. You're probably one foot in the grave anyways!