So instead of hearing “she better not go in there, I told her!” I’ll get to hear what Ryan Gosling has to say?

According to a story I read on independent, the solution to jackholes in movie theaters is ninjas. A London movie theater uses people who dress in Always Sunny in Philadelphia-esque suits to blend into the background and stop people from using cell phones, texting and talking. I know a few people are thinking “so what? I’m still not turning my cell phone off. I don’t care who’s watching me wearing skimpy black spandex.”

Well, I for one, am terrified of ninjas. And the movie theater is the scariest place to be attacked by a ninja. A giant screen in front of you distracts you with shirtless werewolf abs and loud music from the Joy Formidable. There is absolutely no way to keep your head on a swivel to check for unsuspecting ninja star attacks.