Let’s Get Ready To Rumble!!!! Again.
The WWE Royal Rumble is this weekend, if you have not been paying attention to the WWE, if you’re new to the WWE or if you don’t care, this is your guide to what’s going on in the WWE.
First of all this picture is hilarious because it looks like Brock Lesnar just gave birth to or pooped out Paul Heyman.
Just in case you are new or don’t know what is going on in the WWE: the WWE is divided into two separate shows with separate rosters and sets of championships, there is Raw and Smackdown.
This years Royal Rumble has three kickoff matches, which is a nice way of the WWE saying: “These matches are really important.” Unfortunately one of those matches is the only Tag Team match and it is for the Raw Tag Team Championship, out of the three kickoff matches the only one that looks interesting is the Smackdown Women’s Division 6 person Tag match because of the possibility that John Cena’s current girlfriend and ex-girlfriend are on opposing teams.
The actual Royal Rumble event features four Championship matches:
Crusierweight Championship Match:
Jumpy, flippy British guy Neville takes on jumpy, flippy champion Rich Swann, it will be cool they both jump and flip a lot.
Raw Women’s Championship:
Bayley who acts like she is 10 but looks like she is 18 takes on the Champion Charoltte Flair, Ric Flair’s daughter who is undefeated at big events Wooooo!
Raw Universal Championship:
Everyone boos the challenger Roman Reigns but the WWE still insists that he is the number 1 good guy, he is fighting the Champion Kevin Owens who too much like a real person for most casual viewers to comprehend why he is in the WWE, his best friend Chris Jericho will be locked in a Shark Cage above the ring because he always helps Kevin Owens win, but it’s a ‘No Disqualification Match.’ Roman Reigns is probably going to win and all the WWE fans will complain about it on the internet.
I know it’s confusing, which one is the real Championship? I don’t think that the WWE thought this one through and they’re just going with it until no one notices but this is supposed to be the Smackdown Championship.
It’s John Cena who everyone knows from TV and Movies taking on the Champion AJ Styles, only wrestling fans know who AJ Styles is.
If Cena wins he will tie Ric Flair’s record of being a 16 time World Champion but I think that someone like Hulk Hogan will interfere in this match because no one wants Cena to tie that record and Hulk Hogan is always kind of bitter and I think it would be cool if he came back as a bad guy because he kind of is in real life.
The Royal Rumble:
It starts with 2 guys, every couple of minutes there is a cool countdown and everyone in the audience counts down from 10, 28 times. The only way to win the match is to throw people over the top rope, whoever wins gets to challenge one of the two Champions at Wrestlemania, Undertaker, Brock Lesnar and Goldberg are in this match but none of them are going to win.
My prediction for the Royal Rumble is that Sami Zayn is going to win because he has a classic underdog story going on but what I really want to see is ‘The Creepy Guy’ Bray Wyatt win.