Nothing bad has ever happened to me on Friday the 13th, my birthday is August 13th, that must mean that I am the bad thing, that is going to happen to you on the 13th, and that makes me happy.

Today, you are not going to be stalked by an immortal man child, who can not swim, and wears a hockey mask. Instead you are going to be stalked by an American who wears a turkey helmet.

No ladders, no black cats, no broken mirrors, just me Dan America, ranting and raving about Thanksgiving.

I have made a fool of myself in many different places, on many different stages in the Capital Region, and there is nothing you can do about it, I am a lot like Jason, the only difference is that I can swim, and no one cut off my mothers head.

Just like "Friday the 13th" none of my videos are safe for work, and there are a lot of them. However no one has rebooted me.

Some day, I hope to perform in space, just like Jason.

If you have not caught on by now, I am crossing Thanksgiving and "Friday the 13th," do you see what I did there?

I am brilliant.

Gobble, gobble.