So you and your lover are going to your parents house for summer vacation. Or maybe your going camping with friends. What ever the case, you're bummin because it means sex the entire week you're grabbing cocktails by the pool with whoever is practically out of the question. I mean, what if they hear you?

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Well, what if they hear you? Is it that big of a deal? Everyone has sex. But all sorts of things can make having a person laying on the other side of a thin wall hearing you a bit uncomfortable. For both of you.

So here's some ways to get around it.

Out in the wilderness with nothing but canvas and the big outdoors between you and your fellow campers? Plan a hike for just the two of you. Bring a GPS or a compass and take note of the direction you go, and veer off the beaten path. Far off the beaten path so one stumbles upon your clumsy attempt at love-making while teaching their kids about the different types of firs and how to tell a coral snake from a king snake.

Another option is waiting till its dark and wandering out of the firelight. Just bring a flashlight so you don't trip over a root and break your neck before getting to the fun part.

At Ma's and Pa's when you find yourself impossibly aroused? It can be kinda oogy for some to have sex in the house where they grew up. “Go out for ice cream at that old place” and instead, take your partner to your favorite parking spot. Sneak off for a walk to that super secret place you used to go no one knows about. “Search” the garage for your old toys.

Maybe you're sharing a suite with some folks who aren't really all that open about sex, and wouldn't understand the heavy breathing and earsplitting moans of ecstasy. Or, rather, they'd understand them very well, they just won't be able to look at you in the morning. And one of you is definitely a screamer. Not pointing any fingers or anything.

You always did want to give gags a shot. What about that red scarf she wore in her hair today?

Did you bring that album the two of you always get freaky to? Put it in and turn it up loud enough so your roomies won't be able to hear any sounds you make over the music. If that's not a possibility, find time in the suite without your buddies.

There's a remedy for every excuse you can give me for not getting busy on your vacation.

Squeaky bed frame? Throw the comforter or mattress on the floor. Loose headboard? Stuff a pillow behind it. No lock on the door? Put something in front of it, or tie the knob to something heavy with your socks. Clean ones! Or, you know, the college method of a towel on the doorknob. Kids sharing the room? Take a shower together after they go to sleep. Tired? Get up a little before the kids and have that shower.

I'm really not sure what's holding you back. No one has to know unless you want them to. Work it out!And get busy. Your summer will be so much better.

 

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