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How To Get Into Sex Toys Without Your Man Getting Paranoid

Last year, I wrote about the fear of sex toys—though I wouldn’t call it fear, so much as insecurity. I didn’t call it that because guys aren’t insecure, dontcha know. And to be a man in today’s society and admit there are things you’re insecure about means you’re not a man at all. Or something.

I’ve got attitude toward today’s society. So much malarky!

Thing is, some of you men are intimidated by sex toys. And that’s okay. Even though I don’t have a penis of my own, I can see why it would be disconcerting if my partner came home with an inanimate one that was larger, firmer, and more veiny than the one I was sporting in my pants if I did have one. The worry isn’t much different than that of women whose men are into porn. “What if she’s more attracted to that than she is to me?”

In that article last year, I told you:

All my closest girlfriends have sex toy collections larger than mine. And almost all of them are  sleeping with, married or engaged to men who rock their respective worlds behind closed doors  with what they’ve got in their pants. And they still love sex toys.

And it’s true. If you’re in the right relationship, and you love your partner, there is nothing in this world that can substitute for real, physical intimacy; least of all a sex toy.

Something I didn’t tell you, however, is how you can ease into experimenting with sex toys without worrying too much about whether or not your lady’s comparing you to them when you have sex. So how’s about I do that?

The best way to start is searching online, preferably with your partner. I don’t know if you’ve ever been inside an adult toy store (Spencer’s doesn’t count), but a lot of the ones in our area are pretty seedy. Don’t get me wrong! I’ve seen so much worse. But some of the stores around here are put together as if the owners are ashamed of their business, which leaves the customer a bit uncomfortable. The best way to avoid that is to check out one of the many online stores. Adam and Eve is a great one. They do pretty much everything.

Here are some types of unrealistic, non-threatening toys to get you started:

Traditional Vibrators – Most of these, though phallic in shape, do not resemble a penis. This is because when you think “traditional vibrator”, you think about those long, plastic, sort of pointy things on shelves in Spencer’s. These can be used for penetration or external stimulation without fear of having your penis compared to them because they don’t, in any way, resemble a penis.

Discreet Vibrators – Some of these are insertable, but not all of them. Many are meant to be used for clitoral and erogenous stimulation. None of these will remind you of a penis. In fact, some of them might even be a little…creepy. I once owned one that was designed to look like a platypus. It’s a long story.

Bullets and Eggs – These look like what they sound like and, like discreet vibes, are meant to be used for clitoral and erogenous stimulation.

If you look around, you can also find some unrealistic dildos. This might make insertable toys a little easier to swallow.

While experimenting, stay in touch with your feelings, but be sure to keep an open mind. It’s natural to feel uncomfortable, at first, but with practice, that discomfort should eventually decrease. And always, always stay in communication with your partner. They’re the best person to help you get over your insecurities.

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