I tried to tell her a 1,000 times she was making a mistake not marrying me. Look at you now, Hope Solo! It’s only a matter of time you come crawling back to me.

My girl Hope Solo is always playing so hard to get. First she doesn’t answer my tweets during the 2012 Olympics. Then she pretends she’s going to get married to some ex-NFL Player. According to USA Today, my future sparring partner/wife Hope Solo and her boyfriend/husband/opponent Jerramy Stevens got into an argument the day of their wedding. During the argument Hope was allegedly struck.

I can’t believe she keeps making these mistakes and falling for guys who aren’t me. If only I could explain to her how if we were to be together I would never get into a fist fight with her. Well, I mean, we might have fist fights but it would be more like foreplay and we wouldn't end up in court after. Bottom line: Hope Solo, I await your phone call!