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Hands Free Fun For Guys While Your Lady is Experiencing ‘That Time of The Month’

M and me are not, at all, into period sex. We’re not overly big on blood. It’s just not our thing. I have friends, though, who just slap on a condom (which you should do, anyway, if you’re not monogamous) or go at it in the shower.

flickr user alliekenny

You have a buddy of mine to thank for that little tidbit of information. He dropped me a line, the other day, and asked what a horny guy can do when his girl’s surfing the crimson wave. I didn’t pick on him for not seeing what I consider obvious options because I don’t really know much about his sex life. And besides that, some guys actually care about their ladies’ feelings, and maybe his girl’s particular about if and how he takes care of that particular need while she’s doing whatever it is us girls do during that time.

M and I used to have a strict unspoken “no box touching” rule during that time of the month. I didn’t touch it for sexual purposes and neither did he. And during that time, despite my insistence that I honestly didn’t care, he’d occasionally express guilt when one thing lead to another, and he ended up satisfied while I wriggled in my seat and whimpered pitifully. But I’m the kinda girl who gets off on getting you off … so long as somewhere down the line you get me off, too. So I’m okay with him getting off when I’m not. Most of the time.

We’re not all like that.

There are a couple things a fella can do with or without his lady. There are a couple things a lady can do with or without her fella. Where to start? Oh, I know!

Physician, love thyself! (Scrubs)

Like I told my bud, I’ve only known one man in my life who doesn’t masturbate. You’ve got hands. Use ’em. But knock it off with the lotion. Use something a little more suited for the purpose like Boy Butter.

You’re lady’s got a sex toy. Why not pick up something just for you. Fleshlight’s a great brand, but they’re pretty top shelf. There are a few knock offs you can pick up to get an idea if it’s something you’d even be interested in before making the commitment, but I’m told Fleshlight’s totally worth it. But be sure to use Boy Butter H2O to increase the lifespan of your toy, and not the aforementioned oil version.

And you don’t have to do it yourself. Ask your lady to do it with you. Don’t worry. You don’t have to leave her hanging. Ve have mostly hands-free vays of takink care of her, too! (See? There are other reasons for sex toys than your partner not being good enough in bed. Levels the playing field a bit, eh?)

Ladies, if you’ve got a “no box touching” rule, something silicone, ceramic or glass that vibrates and keeps your (or your lover’s) hands away is the way to go. You can disinfect those materials when you’re finished, which is really important if you’re playing when you’re menstruating. But read the directions before using it. There are some toys that shouldn’t be used during your time.

Of course, there are other ways to alleviate the sexual tension, like a mouth party, or the back door. You just gotta experiment and see what you’re each comfortable with.

Just don’t think opening up your relationship and moving another girl in will solve the problem. Chances are, you’ll find yourself screwed in both directions – or not, as the case may be. The cycles of women who live together tend to align. It’s like a cruel joke Mother Nature plays on us all.


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