I’ll admit the whoopee cushion isn’t the best prank in the world but I thought I'd get more use out of it than this!

I enjoy wasting my money playing mindless games to collect worthless tickets and exchanging them for prizes that all around suck. That’s my thing, it makes me feel young and youthful and if I’m drinking while doing it I feel even better about myself. I worked to earn enough tickets to bring home this whoopee cushion and it lasted all of ten seconds. I blew it up and asked Mike Adams to sit on it and BOOM! I didn’t hear a fart or even anything that resembled it. It was as if Mike’s tail pipe backfired. I thought Mike’s colon was harboring the Taliban and my liberal whoopee cushion had some how offended Allah. I hit the deck and moments later learned the truth. Some how the joy of making fanny burp sounds with a rubber sack had been destroyed by one powerful gluteus maximus. The horror!